faith.hope.love

2007-03-18T22:51:00.000+08:00

nothing much these few days im just trying to get as much break asm possible during the march hols. time is running so quickly now that there's only 22 more days..

well, first thing i'm gonna say is my amazement to how pets are treated these days. pet spa with milk, wine, honey etc. pet food - customised sticks and tidbits with dog mineral water!!! got it from the show HDB tai tai and their darling dogs..

check this out. PETCO

and yes, another highlight the deb fung concert was just great. deb fung and band are just hot.

me deb (:

minghui + i + the band.

deb fung.com

going back to school tmr morning :( haha. whoop some ass as the new PE teacher.

x-c ppl check out the x-blog. the photos will come soon! btw there are some pics on this website.

acx-blog

singaporeatheletics.com

yasaka!

Decisions

2007-03-11T22:37:00.000+08:00

hey everybody (: days've been tough as a teacher! but the rewarding fact is that the bonds and relationships you form with your students now would determine some part of their lives in future. teaching in barker has been a challenge really, dealing with problematic kids has redefined itself in my dictionary. haha, this comes to a point where trying too hard doesnt matter, at least for now.

seeking the Lord's direction, i asked one day to show me whether teaching was for me. that day was good. okay maybe they were good classes on that day but really i asked myself, do i really like teaching. well answer came almost immediately - not in the one i'm teaching in now.

but that aside, having to study first after my ns means to say that i have to give up being a pilot trainee. yup, after those rigourous tests, i'm thinking beyond my 12 year bond. well, after speaking to many people from everywhere, i guess having to sign 12 years of my life at one go is rather risky, considering the fact that our govt's schemes and whatever have been changing rapidly over the years. so going as any nco would say: "unless you are a scholar, don;t sign on.."

well, its really not that i've lost the passion for flying, but sometimes, its hard to choose between the beneficial and the interesting - where the interesting may not be always beneficial. so yea, ill fly SIA after i graduate. but for now, what course? so many times i wanted to click the "submit" button but voices just keep reapeating either real life or in my mind: "you SURE about this?"

haha "accountants make tonnes of cash", "c'mon be a pilot! its cool and high paying!", "a science degree is too general, very few prospects in future".. sound familiar?, i hear that everyday. i guess i'm pretty much settled on life sciences, after looking through the unappealing sociology and psychology and courses from the business schools.

i'm just gonna submit my apps tmr and thats it. haha. holidays now but i feel different. maybe i do not enjoy holidays as a student anymore where we would just run arnd town and havoc, chill or just xbox!!!

exciting stuff: after investiture yesterday, we went to serene centre and somebody caught everyone's attention haha. this scgs tennis girl (wearing a nike "i feel pretty" shirt) was just..... i'm gonna pao toh all of you here! ahaha. trying to take pictures of her didnt work as the noobs were real funny bluffing their way to get a shot of her. until the crux! gavin didn turn of the flash on kc's phone. then...FLASH.... imagine the awkwardness on my table!! HAHAHA!! but real funny. keith's got her online fellas (:

kids. haha, the evident depravity of boys in a boys school. maybe thats why things are changing. oh well, gotta start training up for army! gonna run and run like before (: life still is boring but getting better..ands its not easy being me hahhaha. so emo nemo.

well, to all my fellows, all the best in ur future endeavours! praying for a thankful heart in each one of you guys (: till then, seeya soon.

praise God from whom all blessings flow

twbd.

2007-02-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

more bad chem mysteries..

Busy Bee

2007-01-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

Wow its been a real busy month on January and im typing into the last day. Many things have happened so quickly! haha well, teaching is fun and the marking is the incentive. you get totally absurd and funny answers you just roll on the floor laughing. give you some examples:

yes yes. if you are an arts person, you may think im crazy. but chem freaks, go spot the mistakes. it has really been a fun time dealing with my students, all different types of people, but generally across the board, their attitude towards their studies is not there yet.

with the camps and stuff over, its more relaxed in a way but there's still the need to pass tests. hate that part when everyones doing stuff for the sake of requirements to pass tests. just plain lame. but cant do anything as well. the moe's style is always "right".

oh well, havent been back to acjc for the longest time. havent trained, visited my teachers, played ultimate and caught up with so many people! i truly miss the times in acjc when i just stayed back till 10 in the night just to watch cranes and during class time when we just joked around. everything seems different now with everyone in the "working world". haha so serious like that. oh well, SC9, lets hang out soon before D-Day. actually now the guys have 2 D-Days. my second is still a long way :)

24.365. Praying like mad requires lotsa sacrifice and commitment if you didn realise. argh, thursday, fri, sat, sun all in church! whoohoo.

i better get back to my marking. Message some of you guys soon for lunch :)

Happy new year

2007-01-14T21:47:00.000+08:00

happy new year. its been a looong time. i've been great. new year has been very busy. new stuff, new responsibilities, new life. and STUPID NEW NEIGHBOURS!! gosh, sub-woofers and base tubes all day all night blasting. but i must learn patience and tolerate! arrgh. you have to experience to yourself to feel my frustration.

yay. i've embarked on the small group ministry leadership and its stressfully great. haha dont know but somehow. very thankful to God for providing me a super enthusiastic team. i really hope by the grace of God the fellas under our care grow exponentially!

and yes! highlight of the month! fusion 2007! for those of you who missed it too bad. really it was exploding with passion.

the TAGGGGG!!

the blue group!

the magnificent stage

12 days have past in just a twitch of the eye lid. but the sun still shines and water still runs out of my tap. so, life's good. i hope it is for you too!

quote of the day: "the only person that can make you smile everyday may be the only one that can make you really cry"

thy will be done

2006-12-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

days get gloomy with the mood of the rainy season. cant really do much but just shopping. hahaha, the problem is, no one wishes to with me :(

anyway, i waited like 5 hours at the airforce recruitment centre for my pilot selection board (psb) interview.. after like the postponing of two previous scheduled ones. gosh it was a long and impatient wait, only to find myself answering question i have never expected. the LTC didn even ask me why i want to be a pilot. anyway, my tie pin is indeed a F-15. man, i can finally break from the technical studies.. next hurdle the medical: pray i do not have any problems that will get me chopped during the medical (supposedly the highest attrition rate).

thy will be done.

christmas is coming :)

2006-12-17T21:50:00.000+08:00

having nothing to do is simply boring. ok not really nothing to do but having too much stuff without study - not used to it. hahaha. anyone wanna hang out???!!!

went to sentosa on the 12th! after a long time.. it was just hot and great. played beach soccer, volleyball, capts ball, ultimate and dai dee!!! hahaha soo fun ta just chill. but many of the sec 1s didn come so sad. and i'm so tempted to upload the recording of jansen's dare for losing all the games.. hahahaha.

take a shot!

the fellas.

power dive!!!

then we played qcmc on friday. made quite alot of new friends.. happy with my total hat trick :) only thing it was so hot. concurrently i was having cross camp in school. haha check out the band of runners blog for more detailed updates! it was just a great time of fun amongst ourselves. running, cycling, water bombs, fong seng, pool, drinking goggles... ... goodness it was just fun.

then came today! the sec 1 sec 2 games in acjc. so inbalanced! but happy that we won the leaders match. overall we had fun la. we deserved to lose in my opinion, some of the fella were really unsupportive and unsupporting..cant stand that kinda attitude. oh well, it was just a friendly anyway. went to eat thai express after that. hot.

back in action

2006-12-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

long time since i last posted. have been dedicating my efforts to the bandofrunners reports instead. hahaha glad its real nice and the tagboard serves its function! haha.

came back from a boring tour to malacca. oh man.

just a snapshot. nothing much hahaha. if only i could go to hokkaido, or even thailand :(

anyway, i learnt about some stuff. but at least i know its over and out for now. i gotta concentrate on the sec 1 small group ministry next year. yupyup, we have new servants joing our team! praise God for them. i really hope they'll gain much out of this and continue to serve in small groups! looking forward to meeting u fellas!

and furthermore todays service was power. first it was good worship, then it was one of the best messages i've heard. the 40 year mission veteren the rev dr david wang spoke about "where are u" in God's kingdom and stuff. inspirational. i've taken my first step. yeah! i hope God will reveal much more to me.

thanks and continue praying!

2006-12-01T02:24:00.000+08:00

boring days seem to be. everyday has like no purpose. maybe having fun is a purpose. but i also have other stuff to do but the moods just not there. and there's many things i haven't said or done. bad bad.

check out the band of runners blog man. super cool. the links just on the right. anyway, my interview got postponed cos the commander cudn make it :( but more time to prepare - gotta read up on more F-16s. continue to pray!

and prom! aiyo everyones like so on about it. i think i needa still get a black pants. shopping anyone? oh gosh i just realised we entered december. christmas is coming! :)

out

bored

2006-11-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

the a's are over but the effect is not as great as i expected. but heck, thank God its over :) the papers were quite gruelling i must say some of them, but im glad God's in control.

yes, days without ashleigh have been crap, people whom i dono msg me and call, the over-reliance on technology for saving my contacts. haha. nowadays is just soccer, ultimate, xbox, shopping, and everything under the sun cept touching things called books.

the band of runners invented the new slogan: max funmin cost. our first day was bam! i'm so on that i've been trying to create a new blog for our action packed missions. going for sexpo and playing xbox 360 on the demo kits for free for 2 hours is sure FUN. and there's colin and i with the japanese arcade game called "stack". ipods, psps, handphones for grabs! cool.

going for the pilot selection interview this tuesday :) please keep me in prayer, i really want to fly. haha but "thy will be done". yeah!

off to do html reading up! chiong chiong chiong!

joke of the day: my dad told me the large intestine was 96km.

fellas, its time to meet up.

raaaaah

2006-11-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

raaaaah. played abit of soccer in the hot sun today. Paper wasn't too bad, but only stupid human reproduction which i spent most time on wasnt really tested. urrgh. anyway 1 left. cant wait :)

happy bdae colin! sorry my contact list is all gone.

LOST!

2006-11-16T07:44:00.000+08:00

aiyo aiyo sway sway sway. my one year plus years old phone is GONE! no no, it wasn't stolen this time and i didn manage to get it back :(

i went to play futsal with my brother in the morning. then on the way back, while crossing the bridge over the canal (yes where we used to run), he wanted to kick to ball to the other end cos there werent anyone around. guess what, the ball miraculously aimed so accurately at my hand which was holding ashleigh and it hit directly (not even hit my hand). pooof, spin spin spin spin plop. yup, impossible to retrieve. arrgh.

poor Ashleigh.. decided to give it a name in memory of its painful and slow death by drowning.

tough luck.

8 more days and counting.

breathe

2006-11-09T18:04:00.000+08:00

finally i can breathe. it has been bad. the a in "a levels" really means advanced. oh well 14 days more to liberation. anyway.. i love this song.

Wait for Me
Rebecca St. James

hang in there! :)

still bored

2006-11-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

next week!

2006-10-27T15:06:00.000+08:00

oh gosh its friday again. sigh the a levels are NEXT WEEK! whoohoo. oh well, kinda happy over the last few days, especially with the ones who matter most :) but studying wise i dont know. haha, im neither here nor there.. guess ill end up with my old noble ambition, to drive the mrt trains.

so bored just now after gp consultation was looking at www.anagramgenius.com. quite funny, especially the one for "anglo-chinese junior college". check it out, quite bad actually. anw, thanks ms sng for statying back so late everyday. really appreciate it. and, get well soon!

song of the week. "indescribable" by chris tomlin.

From the highest of heights
to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of Fall
to the fragrance of Spring
Every creature unique
in the song that it sings,
all exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky
and You know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees
as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every
lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly
storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the Sun
and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to
bring us the coolness of night,
none can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky
and You know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to
our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Incomparable, unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart
and you love me the same
You are amazing, God
____
it'll be over in a month or so! :)
liberation and freedom.

love you always.

busy

2006-10-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

time flies. esp when there's 9 days to the near death experience. haha october's been good so far :) cept for a few hours in certain days where the echoes of misery sat upon my heart.

finally got a new com that works! yup, would use the blogosphere as my platform, no more writing in my diary. haha. and yes! im gonna add a new link to my blog, "quotes". other than bible verses, there are some quotes which really speak right to your face.

bachalaurette! really emo. aiyo, time really flies. j1s better had enjoy college life now while they can! gosh. took lotsa photos. but i had a good consultaion after that haha. oh well, it just never stops eh. "work is never ending, you either not complete it or you forget totally bout it"

friday 13 occured last last week. was good till i heard of something heart breaking. then as i got home, there was a funeral wake at my voiddeck, how sway can. im confused and burdened by this issue, but the right steps to take i dont know. but considering the consequences, i shall just suffer in silence for the time being. i get the point anyway. and yes, ouch it hurts.

anyway, got this verse from a dear friend whom i think God has purposely put in my way. it reads: "for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of perserverence and self discipline." yea, kinda cool but i guess its hard to come to terms with the harsh circumstances that we may face everyday.

for the emos, there's always philippians 4:4,6,13. and of course jeremiah 29:11. haha by now im convinced that the bible has answers to any situation. alrite, gotta get back to jung sa (cram school) haha.

happy deepavali to my hindu friends especially my "best friend (indian)". and also selaMAT hari raya to my MAT (muslim also today) friends. eat! but dont start jomming :)

and happy bdae to all whose bdaes were within the last 2 weeks. reena.tf, jing ci, gen, spurf, esther, ben, joan.

cram.

been far away

2006-10-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

been far away for far too long. yep. even my tagboard has expired. its been about 50 plus days since i last blogged. have been really busy catching up with LOTS of work. think my friends can identify with that.

anyway altough the many days, only a few significant stuff happened in my boring life. or maybe i only remember these stuff haha.

first up in august. the dear prelims. i guess it was the first time i studied so much in my life. really like going to the hub to mug was the daily routine. i thank the school for making the exams so early, so that i cud wake up earlier. haha. receiving the results after the sept hols, i didn do too badly, but not even enough for a sembcorp scholarship. guess i really need to mug REALLY from now on. btw, theres ONLY 27 and a half more days (roughly more than 2 million seconds).

next was the YMLC. had a really great experience there and also getting to know many other people who love the Lord. truly i have gained alot from the conference and really look forward to next years! anyway, please pray for me as im on the decision for taking up leadership of the sec 1 youths next year. but then, the army's waiting for me so ill need "hell lots of strength and support". mm, about the meeting last tuesday, haha lets just not talk about it.

and then there was honours nite on the 21st of last month. really glad to see the active contributors to our college being honoured. i loved the phototaking best :)

haha im kinda rushed for time so my descriptions get kinda shorter. well if u wanted to, please pray for me. i've got lots of things on my mind recently. pray that ill study dilligently! and also for God's direction upon my life in the ministry sense.

theres one last incident which i dont really wanna talk about here. the world is such a bad place. yea, i may have told some of you but please do not spread. if you really wanna know wad happened, you can ask leonard or myself. eeek.

not forgetting my beloved dog. nixie's health is bothering me these few days. he couldn walk suddenly on sunday nite. yup to a visit to the vet on monday read that he had a nerve injury (i dont know how he cud have got this) that caused him the inability to move his legs and tail. in addition, he has 3 kidney stones and a failing heart. yup, he's bombarded with all sorts of medication which of course he dreads to the core. seriously. he's not even eating his daily food. quite bad. sounds funny but i really hate to see him suffer like that so please pray that he will have a miraculous healing? thanks lots.

btw, i saved a cat last sunday. haha it was a kitten (really thin and small) meowing away so loudly outside the church where the piping was taking place. haha so i carried it all the way to the mak cik at tanglin market and it had food to eat :) meow.

just at this moment i wanna thank all the teachers who are really helping me now. although you may not see this but i really appreciate your help, support and sacrifice (consultations and all). thanks! ms kuah, ms sng, ms tan, mrs wendy, mr loo, mdm tham, ms lee, mr joogle and many more!

and finnaly before i get back to my work, i wanna say a big happy birthday to all my friends out there over the past 7 weeks. mae, joel, nads, natasha, genxian, gerry, evan, valencia, charmaine, tessa, sond, junhan, mel and luddy!

alrite happy world animal day and happy mugging :) lets all finish our last lap well!

august already?

2006-08-06T08:03:00.000+08:00

knock knock. huh? its august already? oh gosh. 9 more days :) my life has been mundane man. given up on many things.

been hanging out in the morning, plain studying. then hubbing in the afternoon. lucky i still have ultimate frisbee to brighten up my life. oh btw, the first ever ACJC ultimate team were 2nd runner up in the inter-JC tournament!

whey whey.. haha everyone's saying tt everyday for no reason. guess its the stress.. i need support too :( but actually im kinda fine..

"cos i know my God saved the day, and i know his word never fails, and i know my God paved the way for me, its gonna be ALRITE!"

thanks for mugging with me today vic :)

"the sooner it comes, the sooner it goes.. life- a mundane cycle"

28 days

2006-07-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

28 days. a long time :) haha. these weeks have been a bore! no special events whatsoever. argh. have just been rotting away in class. GP timed compre was mad. haha didnt finish (as usual).

lucky we weren't in the same class as our good old neighbours (SD1) mm, i recall the terrifying sight at that cold badminton hall. look to your right and man, this girl's on her FOOLSCAP 2nd side for AQ. like dude!, im not even done with the summary :) dude..

had council invest today. i felt sad for the 30ths man, such a job well done and zap just gone in a day.. haha, i didn feel this when i was J1.. maybe its the fire that i caught. but i didn inspire, i got inspired.

well, "sometimes even the toughest person in the world has no courage to say some stuff". yikes, i hope it has "my happy ending".

gen: extend break time la
valencia: get well soon, winning 11 soon!
sad ppl: :)

well actually theres one more thing bugging me constantly haha oh dear i hope no related persons read this.
this whole idea and aspiration of *** is driving me nuts. i've never felt so pressured and stressed about ****** ever in my 9 years. i'm really growing tired, losing the passion, with the people supposedly to help making things difficult. just hanging in there not even a rope, a thread maybe. SNAP. anytime. help. please.

sian

2006-07-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

luddy said i never blog anymore. but not true. if you havent read my TRUE story and got the lesson that i've learnt, please scroll down and read first before continuing on this post.

well, super sian. doing essay now. no mood cos, england, brazil, portugal, germany are out. who will win the world cup?! i hope ITALY wins it, and Portugal gets 3rd placing. sigh, the excitement is so deep in the night to savour.

gotta go complete my essay. guess what im doing after this? DONT TELL YOU! haha. lame. ~the current sc9 craze.. i hope ms kuah does it one day :)

valencia: when we gonna play huh, im only left with 39 days!

whoaho

2006-07-04T14:35:00.000+08:00

this has got to be the most exciting day of my life.

an incident happened directly to me! haha, well i had friends in these situtaions before but i never expected it to happen like to me. ever.

decided to hang out today, this youth day holiday for like the whole day. morning i jogged from my house to the hang out. from there, we took a run/stroll/jog to the tree-top at macrithcie via rifle range rd and back.. not bad huh total bout 12km. too bad that stupid tree-top walk was closed (MONDAYS urrgh..) but the time was good, ran home to get my books to go study at KAP. as usual reached home, couched, watched bimbo spies then batman before i could get my butt moving.. oh well.

now the main story: i reached KAP at arnd 1310hrs, and started hanging out, but really into my books as well. as soon as i finished reading my liver and kidney notes, a random thai looking man walked in and sat across our table. dang, he didn order anything, and he was just staring around! my mind was lik e "aiya, so poor thing kena pang-seh-ed)" then i started onto cell division.

OH MY GOSH! out of no where he sprung up (he sat suspiciously for about 20 mins), went towards our table, flipped over my tray of green tea and curly fries(basket!), and took away my wallet and phone from above my notes on the table, immediately running off like a flash, banging open the glass door and zooming down the stairs. (All these in less than 2 seconds!)

Before anyone could react, i was already out of my seat chasing the bugger. i've never been so focused on running before haha!, just keeping bout 5m behind him, he ran up King Albert Park road towards the private houses (how dumb, there's no where else to run except for a straight road). well thankfully, he was tired. Suddenly while running he threw my wallet at the adjacent grass patch (think he realised i had no money) hoping that ill just pick it up and leave him to run.

But no. my bloody phone! no one takes it w/o permission. so focused on breaking his bones and getting my phone back, a few meters after i shouted "ok u can keep the phone! just give me back my SIM card!" he stopped, turned and said "SIM card ah.." By this time we were already far deep into the road.

Out to no where, something striked my back, turning around..KABISH! straight front eh side on my left jaw. feeling the inertia soon after, another two came on my left shoulder and ribs unexpectedly. Dropping onto the floor, i couldn't beleive what was happening. probably i was so stunned that i didn know whether the second CHINESE fella mistook me for the robber or he was the first subject's accomplice. But man, those punches were painful man.

Me being me, i stood up and fought back (tried). But that 1,9m fella needed to just extend his leg. simply couldn reach him at his speed. shouting for me to GET LOST i decided to just maybe forget it and leave. just then a black car came driving down the road (God sent). The driver pulled over but he didn know what the hell was going on. Looking big sized he came out of the car and started questioning what exactly was going on as he only saw the fighting and shouting.

While he was talking to subject 2, i shouted across to subject 1 for my phone back. and surprisingly he just threw the phone towards me, saying nothing. I was like huh? crazy noob thieves.. like who in the right mind will return what he stole when the victim me is in such a disadvantageous position. gosh..

walking down i saw my dear friend walking towards the scene and we quickly rushed back towards KAP. hey i saw mr Loo in cold storage. anyway back to the story, the car driver drove down and asked me to go back to the scene to wait for the patrol car. I went "are you nuts?!" like who steals stuff and waits for the police to come arrest them.. grrr, anyway, he made a police report "4 people in a grey car arguing and shouting". no wonder the police only came half and hour later (when i just packed up and left for the nearest police post).

well well, it doesnt end here. i spent almost 2 hours at the stupid post making the stupid report. officer asked so many dumb "duh" questions and called so many people (wad HQ, FIR, AIO, 323) to tell the incident. gosh. im not trying to blame the officer but there's a better and faster way to do these eh? rubbish, they still told me to go back to KAP as their research officer from the other HQ needs to go down and investigate crime scene.

heh they said in arnd 15 mins they'll arrive. i waited an hour and a half. but these 2 officers were quite cool la. Cameras, pistols, finger printing equipment, etc.. how cool. i could see that they really wanted to investigate this case to their fullest potential. haha no pun intended :) All the stares when this guy with two police officers standing around and talking. Lke everone's eyes on me and the fellas in blue. awkward.

guess this is the apathy in singaporeans these days esp the youths. staring eye power does alot of help yea.. no one, absolutely no one stood to help, they just watched in shock, then of course, commented. some at the lobby even thought me and subject 1 were playing catching -_-.

anyway lesson learnt here. really big one. DONT PUT YOUR PRECIOUS STUFF ON THE TABLE ACCESIBLE TO OTHERS. really thank God that i recovered all my stuff and the theives didn stab me or anything. and yes, dont rob a crosser, unless you are one. haha!

Missing Links:
1. there was suddenly a grey car coming in the opposite direction, parker with people inside, cudn really see who, but looked like a gang. Bukit Timah Gang perhaps, the one that hangs out at beauty world.
2. where did the driver who called the police go? is he another accomplice?
3. I think the dark skinned (believed to be a foreigner) guy was just being used by the guy waiting at the top to whack me. but u'll never know, he may have whacked the wrong person.
4. What happened to them and where did they disappear to after the whole incident?

oh well, i hope the police find them. and dont let me see you again for i promise you you'll regret having that stupid brain of yours to think stealing was a good idea. ill keep my phone first before breaking your bones. Sounds like a drama series rite, i cannot believe it too. but if you still dont believe i have the report with me. mm, just advice to all: KEEP all your stuff with you! dont attract thieves and give them the opportunity.

thanks my dear friend for being the only person who bothered :)

42 days

2006-07-03T14:44:00.000+08:00

bam! its july! shucks.. only a fews weeks and a few more seconds left to awakening.. urrgh, i hate it! why cant we study what we like? why must we study because some ministry says we have to? scream!!!! haha better stop here before the police fines me.

oh well, june has been slack. like really dem slack. slack as in not studying but doing stuff other than studying which is obviously more fun and engaging. well, the world is unfair.. yes?? even the Bible states that its unfair. people can zao overseas n do their degrees immediately and stuff. dang.

but i really missed school (probably only for one reason) but i really did. sc9 was like dead the whole hols! sigh.. only the first week of school when the boys went to cine to x-box like mad after army checkup.haha like a short break, felt like was ponning school. then came friday, girls play day, like ultimate frisbee and capts ball till afzal.. like bam! more! saturday.. x-box AGAIN! should anything happen to my results, this thing's to blame haha!

2006-06-08T10:11:00.000+08:00

Driving in India

don't ever get conned by muraly to go to india.. a sneak peak

Hell Begins

2006-05-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

wow. so many days past in a snap of a finger. time is seriously not on our side.

anyways just an update for now. gotta get myself busy with more urgent stuff.

Friday: i think having more than one birthday on the same day is quite cool. but it makes you lose your uniqueness, rite aud? haha. celebrated hang and chin yen's bdae. hey really ran about many places in my uniform. yea, these days are sure hot..

Saturday: Frisbee! we won as usual. not with skill but with stamina. kinda cool we learnt new tricks and tactics like the cyclone and the zipper. untouchable! haha. i think thats all i can remember.

Sunday: as usual.

Monday: my grandfather's bdae. i dont know how old is he though.. oh well..

life is mundane and getting worse. theres less than 80 days to pre-lims? been playing winning 11 like never before. but before u say im a slacker, u should take a look at my timetable. wahaha.

please pray for me as i lose touch with the world from 2nd June to 12th June. scouts stuff. dont wanna elaborate. pray that i will suceed and draw strength from God.

yes please. yawn. thanks friends :)
a smile for everyone :)

keeping the ACSpirit alive

2006-05-19T11:53:00.000+08:00

"you give and take away". thats a line that struck me a few years back when there was a period of blessings and a period where i just lost everything dear to me. i guess God is sovereign in his plan and he knows whats best for us. as we pray "thy will be done", we need to know that it has been finished, in heaven as it will be on earth. after witnessing many exits of our sporting teams despite the unthinkable effort during training and the acsians screaming their hearts out, should we be angry or bring God to question? my answer would be no. our answer should be "my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your Name".

at least you know you have the whole college behind you, aint that great when team ACJC comes together as one big family, supporting and cheering each other on. cant stop smiling at the power of that thought. we may not be the champions, we may not have won what we desired and trained for, but we have won closer friendships, strengthened team bonds and invaluable experiences and memories which im sure, everyone will treasure for life.

keep the ac spirit burning, the race isn't over. look ahead and smile at the future, for the best times of our lives, we are about to capture.

ruggers (esp faizul n darroch): SA won! at least THEY didn win it. keep fighting and your heads high, for the legendary AC rugby sheds blood and not tears!

hockers (esp leonard, kah hern, ter, sung luddy): i saw the fighting spirit, i saw the fire in your eyes. you put up a good fight and never gave up, thats why "you guys didn lose, you all merely ran out of time!"

tennis-ers (esp cherbet), badminton-ers (esp jamie): although i didn see many matches, i could tell that your heart and soul was fighting the limits to get this far. your arms just rock, rock on.

bowlers (esp mel n bev): 3rd, then 2nd, then 1st. im sure you guys have the aptitute to crush those pins. maybe imaging my face on the pins will help? haha :) ac's behind your every throw, bowl well!

netties (esp gaby n sandy): urrgh! cheer up dudes, i thought you guys played a fantastic game. just great *claps. your efforts during training till 9pm were not wasted, it got you all so far!! the disappointment is temporal, for the best is yet to be! forget hwa chong, announcing the best GS and WA around: gabrielle tan and sandy kwan!! mm, and of course not forgeting the best teammates-kah yee, xian, jas, amanda, mae, nana, and of course my tall frends: reena, pam and shu hui. you guys stormed the court!

well done sc9. rock on.
97 more days to pre-lims
a few more to freedom.

dont forget your mindmaps :p

back in action!

2006-05-14T19:50:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be a loooong post. mm, there's just too many burdens and things i must type down. presenting the return of the non-political broadcasts of my posts.

just in this span of 3 months or so? so much has happened. some expected and some not. well, fun o rama was not bad, and the x-country season kicked in quite well.. that was um, february? still realxed, fun and slow-paced. leaving school now and then to buy stuff, going town after school just to chill out as a class.. how cool.. look at now! what the heck! i miss those times. special day - 27th Feb :)

whoo hoo march coming in swiftly, with a very happy founders day :) and the the rest of march is just sad, regretful and life changing. mm, dont wish to elaborate but ill fight on in june! yea, and terms.. seemed easy but i still ended up failing chem. again. sorry madam, i promise you ill ace (pass) the pre-lims. you're the best!

april is the bang! month of the year.. haha. erhrmm: and the champions for the national inter-school x-country championships 2006 A division, with ONLY 27 points, ANGLO-CHINESE JUNIOR COLLEGE!!!!! ahaha!

yay!! all the sweat and injuries and inspiration and bla bla bla was not wasted. but i really wish for thursday stay overs again!!! oh yes, and i was down for an interview with the new paper one day.. the report was so fabricated and funny, and the pic!! so ugly!! ok maybe thats the real me but can take nicer rite? lao.. anyway, i hope everyone has forgot about it. mm, the day off after nationals was killed by the requirement to hand in my GP compre on that day!!! and muraly didn even do it loh. surprisingly, ms sng became the nicest person on earth and gave him till monday! ill never forget this. mm, ms sng is great these days dont you think so. im starting to like GP (thats a lie).

Later weeks of the month were occupied by track and field events and soccer matches.. and i visited colin's church on the 16th. good, different experience. most disappointing day was actually the 5th sunday of the month. format x. none of my invited guests turned up :( haha. anyways two more to go in the year, must at least get a few to check out Faith Methodist Church.

may comes the emo month. a snap of the finger, its the 14th of may. HELLO?!! 99 days to the pre-lims. *grab hair and scream. but no worries. should be able to pull thru well. anyways, been doing bio practicals on the heart and kidney, have many vedios on them hahaha.

"betrayl only comes from your close friends" starting days of may were the best of my life, its getting worse sigh.. lonely and alone are two different things know.. just pondering on these.. well, ill let it remain a dream, and watch the smile from the distance. i gotta stop here.. typing too much!

ill upload the photos soon.. stay tuned!

worker's party, worker's party. ahaha.

forget it

2006-02-19T19:05:00.000+08:00

just too tired and disappointed to blog anything.

ask me about my fun o rama experience.
2sc9 food ppl: im really sorry for leaving, good job anyway.

im really confused. really.
i should just shut up,
cos everything i do or say is just wrong somehow.

its over.
shit starts.
19 Days to TERMS.

ill upload the pics soon,
for now,
study hard, and sorry.

cross country

2006-02-09T15:48:00.000+08:00

well its been a long time since i touched the computer. busy with what? sleep i guess. anyways nothing much but im just gonna blog bout the significant events; put a smile on my face.

08FeB: cross country meet, mangae to hold 9th after trailing arvind by bout 10meters! aiya! wasted, could have really caught up but didn wanna push my ankle further. praise God for keeping me safe.

pics @ acxcountry.blogspot.com

07Feb: ms sng is on her sarcastic spree again! whenever there's black or dark mentioned she focuses on muraly ahaha. then there was this answer from passage A "dangers of the darkness" the causeimmoral societies where muraly totally interpreted it wrongly. was real funny.

06FeB: dumb freaks at nus looked at us like aliens, some even brushed us aside saying, "oh im not from AC". pui la you guys, disgracing the prestige of nus. but the day wasnt wasted: went to get marshmellows and source for syrup for fun o rama. kinda stressed up and boring running around to so many places to get stuff. no wonder im sleeping so much.

this section is for my friend dennis. haha saw him off on tuesday early morning. kinda sad but he's going to uni in a few months la! urrgh, wad a sad life i lead in singapore.

and oh yes! before i forget. this parts just for my dear captains. haha caught this on the airport sakae sushi counter. go figure the hidden meaning!

04FeB: BIO SPA!!!!! tmd stupid snails. i dont understand them. and i dont understand why we have to study them. mr karman chua just loves this kinda thing.. why sir.. WHY!?. screwed it up but i acnt really do much now anyway. went for mini cross outing after that before training. so pai seh, went to aud's house then her mum give ang pow. aiyo.

pics @ the cross blog

thats about all la, my ankle hurts now from the race. well theres so many things to do now, i dont know where to start! btw, new pics in 2sc9 corner! one courtesy of muraly! haha

its over i guess, whoots :)

life in aussie

2006-02-02T16:37:00.000+08:00

life in australia.. away from stress, away from the city buss, just quiet and relaxed. im in my house, by the outdoor balcony, overseeing my farm by the setting sun enjoying the breeze. Sipping down a glass of wine i turn on the music and close my eyes. someone comes up to join me, snuggling her in my arms we talk about the wonderful day. after dinner, we sleep till 9am :)

now that's a good idea. soon it will surface.

cny

2006-01-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

my wish for everyone on this planet:
gong xi fa cai, tian tian kai xin.

oh wells. the chinese new year's not bringing any good luck. yea yea ok i wont say so much bu ji li stuff now. on saturday, guess what happened.

my dad was queing for car wash then i decided to get something from the mart. when i came back into the car halfway, my dad released the brake. being automatic, the car glided forward, "giapping" my leg. i was like "STOP! STOP! REVERSE!" cos i didn seem to be able to pull out my leg. then the car glided forward once more, compressing even more before the car reversed. sigh, lucky there were no crack sounds of my bones, But hell, its real painful now.

that was saturday. on sunday came all the visitation. boring. the only best part was seeing all my long lost cousins. somehow i really miss them. forget the red packs, i just wanna be happy. but i guess happiness cannot be given in red packets.

then came monday. oh what?! todays' tuesday? i hate the sound of that. monday was boring as usual. slept the whole morning, then went to my aunts place for lunch. then went to frend's house and is staying over now. omgosh what kinda english is that.

anyways i just watched the 0120hrs "i not stupid" show at ps. not bad. really, my parents should watch it, and also to all those parents who just bitch and nag everyday: watch that show and wake up your bloody ideas! ..before your kids go rob and commit crimes. haha i doubt my dad will ever read my blog and cry. haha.

and there's natallie, you're so pretty! :) haha dont worry i believe you can improve 10 marks! guess what i ate. choc brownie and peanut buttercup! yummy
no mood to sleep. the thought of teachers ranting in school, parents nagging at home just keeps me awake, but inhibiting from doing any work.

a few quotes i picked out and have been pondering over these days:

- can caning really change a kid's character? or it'll just make it worse?
- whats the difference between unstoppable and difficult to stop?
- you need to find the key to a person's heart to win him/her over
- focus the talents rather than weaknesses and use them to your advantage

- only when you've lost that person, you'll never treasure that someone as much
- dont underestimate the power of these 3 words. "i love you"

and this one's from mother theresa:
"I have found the paradox that if i love until it hurts, then there is no more hurt, but only more love"
like wow. i salute you mother!

this is a long post. but i seriously dont feel like doing any work. really. sign me up for the next war. why cant i just wake up tommorow in paradise?

shouts:
everyone: HAPPY new year
luddy: relax, if i ever find the bugger, ill make him crumpler(v)
funoramappl: oh well. keep up the good work
gen: haha, i find it hard to laugh on my own as well, glad to have you guys laugh with me :)
jonas: hey bro, thanks for filling my tagboards
vishnu: dont worry so much bout a***** or that person, you're special!
tay, mai: you lovely! i write letter to you soon
mat brudder and indian president: PEACE!!!
bestfriend(yb): get well soon too!
natallie: hope to see you soon :)
yongzhi: thanks for the songs
anyone in need: i love (agape) you

"forget A level today, at least for one day, four days holiday, good luck coming your way"
you can say that again. and again.

ok i get it

2006-01-28T14:05:00.000+08:00

i wish i could sing this to you. a song written by my brother yongzhi. i really am sad today.

Call me up on Friday night
Leave me waiting there for you
For someone who's always there
For the one that never comes
Cos it's you that comes to mind
You're the first one that I find
A long time after darkness falls
I'm still waiting for your call

Chorus:
I wait for your voice in the dead of the dawn
So won't you sing me to sleep,
me to sleep, me to sleep
I barely realise I've come to depend on you
Your call is all that I need, that I need,
that I need, that I need

Please don't leave me hanging here
After growing so on me
You break off a piece of me
Pieces no one ever sees

I always miss the ice-cream truck
I have always cursed my luck
When it seems to be my turn
It's just the point of no return

All rights reserved
Barely Justified

dont wanna talk. i get it. i understand. i regret. im tired. find rest, my soul.

anybody know when's the next war? sign me up.

I wait for your voice in the dead of the dawn.

funny

2006-01-27T18:29:00.000+08:00

haha today was a funny day, i better blog bout it before i forget.

just yesterday i skipped training to finish up all my owed homework. sigh i think coming home and sleeping strait ain't a good idea. so forced myself to sit down in the dumb voiddeck to finish my article report and essay. was doing with gen and evan, so as usual we tkss and the funniest thing of that day happened.

gen: whats that in your pencil case?
evan: oh they're little aeroplanes (colourful plastic planes)
me: why do you bring so many to school?
evan: oh, its my "visual reminder", reminds me to be as high as the sky.
me and gen: *laughter for 5 minutes.

then came today. i learnt of a new sport. its called "PK-ing". hae sung described it as
1. people jumping over walls
2. people swinging on overhead bridges
3. people swinging out of HDB estates to the other floors
4. people breakdancing when theres music
gosh, the 6 of us at subway were just laughing our asses off. i just researched on it. I CANT BELIEVE I EVEN DID IT! gosh i typed PK-ing - Player killing, Peking, etc; nothing about people doing fear factor stunts. anyways we also did something funny there, not gonna blog bout it. may encourage bias and prejudice.

then in the afternoon, the singapore team beat the hong kong team in the world badminton championship finals! whoohoo! i never laughed so much at badminton in my life. sandy playing with her left hand and swinging her right around. and theres lai shan dazing bout muraly the whole time, and jamie just smashing the shuttle into people's faces. haha how funny. went to play netball and run also. man the netties are strong! keep it up kah yi, gaby, sandy, nana, angela, mg gurl, laishan. oops leave out the last name.

haha! to laishan: seriosly if you like basketball, go join it. first the school team, then nationals, then the NBA, yea.

yawn. gong xi fa cai.

damn

2006-01-25T12:05:00.000+08:00

hi. haha. i didn even think anyone would even read my blog. sigh, i really think that blogs have objectives which are subjective. gosh. too much GP. voyeurism? nah nothing exciting here anyway.

well, things been piling up. LIKE PILING UP! theres just SO MUCH WORK TO DO! i need to scream. life's seems to revolve round bio, chem, maths, chinese, GP, lectures, tutorials, teachers, training, scouts, church, yadda yadda yadda.

i need to take leave from life. impossible. one day i rest = one more day of extra hard work, its not a choice really, an obligation rather. why not just quit school now and die for for your country. good idea? who's with me? shit im going mad.

oh man and FUN O RAMA. FUN? i dont think so. it breaks people up and makes people go bonkers. but it really shows the true side of a person, how he/she works and stuff. bonkers and popsicles. impressive. i dont wish to get involved anymore. im immune! haha. you wanna do it that way? do loh. you dont wanna do this? dont do loh. i dont care. seriously, why should i? you can do whatever you like :) just dont step on my toes.

whoa, sounds so one-sided. guess im just an asshole bitching bout everything. but hey, thats what blogs are for eh?

RAMA means SHIT.

pissed inside, trying not to show it.

luddy

2006-01-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

theres so many things to post but i guess i dont have the time to do it right now.

but this one's just for my good frend luddy. haha thanks for being a wonderful frend. really appreciate your c&c. heres to the future national hockey star. cheers! :)

dang, theres so much work -_-

Army!

2006-01-20T01:55:00.000+08:00

no wonder people get tired of blogging. the days just keep getting greyer. at least its better now with the sun out. i feel stressed and relaxed at the same time. hate it. so much incomplete work. so much training. so little time.

its week 3 of hell. yes, i get your point. i get everything you do. sorry it was just all my fault. i really wished i could turn back the clock. sometimes i feel so exploded, stabbed so many times. i just wonder why i just cant die like that.

i totally forgot there was pe today. frantically went to find. finally i borrowed a shirt from mel and shorts from bev. totally gurl. my legs are nice :) yay i dont know who said that but thanks man. think luddy! haha gaby said u look from the bottom upwards slowly then say "eh how come so flat" ahaha. gosh paiseh man. i went to take a pic.

well, alot of things have been happening actually. just yesterday vishnu and suyin got a ride in the ambulance to nuh. quite unnecessary la i feel for the 995 call. but anyway, i feel good that i can put whatever i've learnt to use. yea, and those stupid paramedics actually took instructions from me. but the best part was "operation shelter" almost the whole team braved the rain with only 3 umbrellas to the hospital.

cool stuff. im doing bio research now. wow sounds cool but i guess ill never make it to this kinda thing in life. sometimes i really feel so useless, others are so good at this and me? bla bla bla. maybe i really am. but who cares? i dont.

oh well. feeling all confused now. anyways i uploaded some pics. the links here dont work urrgh.

im leaving.

bak kwa

shouts:

vish n suyin: get well soon!
sandy: keep up the good work at training!
gaby: thanks for the smiles :) love!
ft: we have a new khampetitor
marcus: happy bdae
jesse: will you survive? O$P$

homework!

2006-01-16T12:57:00.000+08:00

im getting increasingly tired and weak these days with fever and my stupid nose. sometimes its blocked and sometimes its just like a tap. urrgh! and my stupid throat is killing me. especially in the middle of the night. gosh, skipped two trainings already, tmr's gonna be the third. shit.

anyways, went to collect my phone on friday from wheelock nokia care. on wednesday when i sent it in they told me that all data will be LOST. gone forever. i was like O_O. so sad all my memories and bits and pieces all gone. managaed to quickly transfer 250 out of 658 contacts from my phone to sim card. shit yea.

but nothing was lost when i got it back! like whoohoo! heng ah, i still can treasure my memories and stuff. they just changes the keypad sensors i think cos my 7 8 9 became 1 2 3. but anyways im happy, thought it was a sign to let go of the past. after hearing pastor lynette's sermon, sounds kinda true. but sigh.

still so much homework to do.

whee

2006-01-12T21:18:00.001+08:00

now 2 weeks have almost gone by. its getting closer to the big exams. urrgh! school hasn't really been fun this few days. everybody Fungry, Fired and Fngry, some even Fick. like im catching a cold soon. the weather has been killing and i really look forward to seeing the sun.

oh well. really nothing much to say anymore cos all the fun has been taken away from me i guess. shit starts. been training in the rain. it sucks, totally sucks when water splashes into your face, mud runs up your legs and your clothes are just wet - inside and outside. but met new cool people who just joined the cross team. yea, but after two weeks, we'll see who's strong enough to stay. haha shit happens.

really stressed with everthing. school, scouts, cross yea thats hell lotsa shit already. i dont exactly have a life right now. the rain just depicts how im feeling - moody and gloomy. what else can topple a person further is failures. i guess failing is normal, but it really is so painful especially when you went all out and tried your best for something.

damn. bio essay, GP factsheets + articles, maths tutorial 23, chemistry alkenes tutorial.......... can stop for a day, please? poly the easy way out? its too late. im going to thailand, no same-same Singapore!

shoutouts to people whom i think wont read haha but anyway:

gaby: get well soon ok? sad to see you so 'dead' in class
zhong: mai paeng rai, im going there soon
nist: everyone's dear haha, im comin!
luddy: freaks on the run?
jang-guem: yea mama
yuan bing: hey best friend, tag
dennis: see you tommorow
vishnu: join the ICS
the world: good nite :)

im going mad. not about huh i dont even know what im typing. jiu ci ting bi.

2SC9 corner C-I-O!

sigh

2006-01-08T14:31:00.000+08:00

yet another boring day. i still cant get over it. its been a really bad week in school. i havent completed most of the homework due yesterday. thought i'd finish but training killed everything. zero motivation and inspiration.

well, had ther firs venture exco mtg today, went quite well. then i skipped training -_- again. it was raining so hard man, but i guess thats where the pain really starts. went to do something else instead, not exactly fun. but oh well. oh well.

having rashes now man. real bad. fong mok. its like the more i scratch, the itchier it becomes and it spreads! oh my gosh. arrgh!

scratch

busy!

2006-01-07T12:53:00.001+08:00

gosh. its been 3 days of school. i ahavent really got the time to blog bout the days. well, these days have just been school and training -_-

first day of school felt like living in the most boring world you ever lived. gosh, the mood's jus not there, everyone is nowhere. supp papers, ogls, absentees and what have you. urrgh. and popsicle selling. everything was so unprepared till the last minute. sighs. sometimes people need to get the job done instead.

second day wasn't any better. had four periods of ms tan. but i say it was useful haha. and then popsicles n more popsicles. the thing was approved luckily by mrs wilson and the ppt got thru well. much good feedback and sales was quite good i must say with the excellent PR skills of the gurls. oh well, but was kinda pissed at one pt of time. how dumb.

third day! yay everyones eating popsicles! haha, the 2sc9 influence. hmm. ms sng talked bout blogging today. but heck. haha, who cares about influence and controversy. oh well. this is a controversy haha.

these days have been real tiring. seeing all the other people at orientation makes me wanna retain. but then again, its 7 more months to pre-lims then im out! cant take the pain anymore. so shitty to drag yourselve thru the days of your life. oh well.

homeworks' piling up. im not starting any.

dang

New Year

2006-01-02T18:32:00.000+08:00

whats so happy about the New Year?
1. School starts, holidays end
2. Things are one year old
3. A new year begins leaving behind unaccomplishment
4. A LEVELS!
5. Im sure you can think of more....
Well that was the topic of the sermon today. Oh well.

been staying in church for 40 hours of prayer. kinda cool like a camp. haha really tired now still. havent been training also. think im gonna die next year with so much stuff on. well, heres an update.

On 29 Dec i met dennis (my head prefect who zao) in the morning then went to transport stuff to kah hern's house in the aft. really poor thing i just gave him a call and stormed into his house to put those dumb popsicle thingys we're gonna sell for fund-raising. dont really wanna say anything bout that.. so i just follow instructions haha. sorry kah hern!

On 30 Dec i had meeting in the morning to showcase scouting during the sec 1 registration. real cool, we did abseiling and cooking, stuff we dont usually do! Then had ventures nite at the guild house. the only highlight of the thing was when hong yi went to make his speech. gosh, creating abs on ppl's backs man.

quickly headed down to church after that for the 2am service. i led for awhile real cool man. well my first time in Thailand was much easier, somehow it felt hard on the 31st. Anyway, anyway.

New years day? oh before that on the previous note was also pastor B's farewell. urrgh, really painful to let someone close go. Thanks pastor for being my mentor and my friend. haha er herm, my ordination service ;)

now, new years day was just another day. after service we had sort of a shelling from kymn then treat from wee hwa at nydc. ate my fav boo boo again. haha. then went for GCM in barker. how boring. the only fun part was having dinner with wind, dennis, kevin, yangde and julian. dem funny when we talked about the stupid past of the scout group. haha real funny, but had to leave early for grandmas :(

now todays the killer. i just finished 1100 words. but FACT SHEETS! oh dear.
all the best to those taking supps tmr! :)

happy? NEW year -_-

time flies

2005-12-29T14:53:00.000+08:00

how time flies. its already the 28th. gosh. no work done at all. how was christmas and boxing. I only have one present but many cards haha. anyways. i really wanna get out of this kinda lifestyle. seriously, its not wort moving so quickly and screwing up your life with the things around you.

just renewed my golf pc yesterday, tester real ngiao man basket. but went to play 36 holes today. not bad, got 93 on average.. yea but, play so much also sian. im so bored with my life.

tomorrows gonna be worse. its a full day tmr, then the day after tmr IT NEVER ENDS! i hate that. i kinda dread living. i number my days and lose count. how i wish i can just die now.

urrgh! mood swings are incoming :)

christmas

2005-12-26T11:30:00.001+08:00

christmas, isn't christmas, till it happens in your heart. i guess i wont feel this way for the next couple of years. really down inside the last two days. really felt empty during service today. sorry God :(

"it doesn't hurt kicking the ball to see if it enters the goal anot. but sometimes, we dont even have the chance to kick it" been thinking bout this for the past 40 hours. really sad. my life is so regretful. i think tts the reason im at home now.

well, oh well. at a loss of words. met gerry this morning, kinda cheering up and happy to see someone close that has returned. cooping myself at home now. i just watched the whole "da chang jing" show twice. its a dem nice korean movie.

oh well, MERRY christmas everyone. and hopefully a HAPPY new year.

finished

2005-12-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

it is finished. all over. my hopes and dreams are all dashed. but i have to move on with life yea? from the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything. i've tried my very best. that card took a week to complete. but hey, for your happinness, i'd do anything.

one year ago on this very date and time i made a big decision. i thought i was happy until i screwed things up. why do i always screw things up? WHY?! WHY?! is it God's will, or is it just me, a useless person. ill say it again but living in regret just sucks. i hope i dont have to regret anymore in my life. I never thought i would be in such a situation again.

need a few days to recover. i just feel like ending my life. but i've still got things undone on earth. i hate it when God doesn't seem to be there at all. "You give and take away" - I rather you not give then to take away. its seriously just so painful. im torn totally inside, but i've only myself to blame. im left all alone in the world now - thats how i seriously feel right now, emptier than ever.

yep. im just brokened for words. truly i wanna leave this country or even this earth. i wanna stop putting on fake expressions and "enjoy myself" here.

TO HELL WITH CLUBBING - stop destroying people's lives.

shit happens

cool

2005-12-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

christmas is coming. but it doesnt feel right.

just organised a party for the oldfolks. thanks enoch, caleb and yi zhong in helping me with the christmas carols. and real disappointed with those who backed out last minute. really screwed plans up. anyways, it was kinda fun, especially with my funky magic show.

from chicken little: everyday is a new day.

paste back that smile on my face.

hopefully

2005-12-21T17:42:00.001+08:00

today (or yesterday rather) was the first module of pltc. quite disappointing to see so little people. anyways, vnite meeting in the afternoon also was quite full of crap. people having tensionous convos and internal squabbles. c'mon guys, we have a job to do.

went out later with marcus, hong yi and thow. not bad to kuai lan in town, like the last time in little india. u guys are just full of crap la. haha.

also went to send something to someone. i really hope you receive it. maybe in two days time my smile would be back on my face. maybe not. please, im torn enough. i cant sleep or eat well.

sighs, one of the most screwed up thing in life is to REGRET. Living in regret just sucks.

schools in

2005-12-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

life's a bore without you. seriously.

lonely

2005-12-18T10:34:00.000+08:00

i finally know what it means to be lonely. i finally feel the emptiness inside of me. i finally understand why God needs to come fill you.

i really feel no better than a crushed piece of paper, crushed up and thrown aside. mom and dad's not in town, bro and sis also not around. friends either mugging or clubbing. "so on my own, i feel so all alone". no wonder i wanted to stay so much in thailand, where everyone is so innocent, pure and warm. unlike singapore kids who squander hard earned money away.

cross camp was great. had a great time with the team and also the trackers. but kinda hostile during the war games but oh well, inevitable. back to life - 2 more weeks to start of school. shit.

pics

Drinking goggles up! toot

Get the rythm of the dragon. 1 and 2 and 3 and!

anyways.

i am so ever needing of your touch once again. its really killing me day by day.

bam!

2005-12-15T17:34:00.000+08:00

wow! im back in action. im gonna migrate to thailand soon. the life there is just great. relaxed and carefree, where stress and frustrations are of the minimal because everything there is just so little to hold on to. and the people? i think they beat us FLAT in terms of service and hospitality. they give their ALL, and dont expect anything in return.

well this mission trip has been truly a great experience. when God's in the house. u'll know he's there. i've also met great new friends there. it was so painful to leave just like that, after its so painful when someone that you treasure so much leaves you. they were the ones who really showed me the meaning of true love. i've learnt alot from that, just by their actions. its like this longing in your heart to be belonged to someone, filled.

guys: boy, kong, tong, m, peng, tom, john, rod, jo, bo, and many more.
gurls: tay, mon, fon, kare, bean, ning, nist, ouy, sunny, mai, and many others.

you guys really brought to my world something different. i salute you.

thanks for being close friends with me. i will be back soon.

oks, gotta go prepare for cross camp liao.

go go go ale ale ale! khop-kun khrup

tiredd

2005-12-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

bam! simply so tired and in pain. the marathons'not a joke man, especially with a sprained ankle. but had fun la. now im crippled at home.

yay. yea. but no one to share my achievement with. God?

i dont know what to say anymore. life without you has been bad (i mean really bad). you probably wont even see this. but that feelings been daunting my soul all this while. suddenly i just thought. how am i to be the sam i used to be. i cant.

everyones on a holiday.no one i can go out with. no one i can talk to anymore. i dont even have one. gonna leave soon for thailand tho. wanna make best the time i have now but it all seems too late. heros fail, but i guess failures fail as well.

im ever needing your touch so much.

paste back pieces of me

yes!

2005-12-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

yay finally rectified the blog problem that jon mentioned. hehe i copied a wrong script man. now you people can read the post for the last 3 days haha.

today's kinda boring. i hope it'll be more fun later. met pastor b in the morning to talk bout stuff then spent about one hour at guardian finding out quotations for the first aid components. so dem expensive la! then played frisbee in the level 3 carpark. kinda illegal but pastor kao didn say anything when he came out.

anyway. today's boring. yeah.

ah yes. if you could please pray for my mission trip

CLICK HERE

just download the prayer letter. thanks a zillion.

if you dont know how to pray, just say dear God, then read everything there with sincerity. Amen. it helps!

just had a steamboat dinner. off to school now, preparing for the long race tmr earky morning! 21.1 km! here we go!

zoom

second day

2005-12-03T15:56:00.000+08:00

fridays are so depressing. they mark the end of the hectic week and it means time is flying real fast. gosh. its been more than a month (maybe 2) since after promos. i dont care.

went to nuss guildhouse in the morning to confirm vnite stuff. so professional man. after that went to hang around in town till bout eight. eye opener when you go shopping with rich people haha. one pair of jeans can cost $300 over. O_O .like wow. that can last me for a month! whee gotta start saving up to shop with them.

gas jeans, energie, x-square, quiksilver, guess, ax, diesel, miss sixty, topshop, topman, forever 21, zara bla bla bla. these are the places you least likely will find me.

hungry? pasta mania, picnic's beef noodles, delifrance's potato gratin, starbucks ice chocolate, yami youghurt STOP!!! i have a marathon on sunday.

or maybe ill go marry the sultan of johore's daughter since no one wants me. i will have control over johor! hahaha! oh man im going craz y.

and oh ya, did i tell you about my broken ankle. went to see a doctor and guess what.

oh well, that's besides the point.

havent started ANY work!

yawn with a small mouth

wee

2005-12-02T14:22:00.000+08:00

the start of december is just great. started off so early by transporting so much equipment to sarimbun for npc. whee got a chance to ride on a 26 ft lorry. no joke man.

then afternoon had nothing better to do. so i played LAN. been a long time man. but me n daniel totally kicked ass in c&c gens. GLA and US really make a good fighting force. then after that played battlefield vietnam. thru that game u'll soon realise life is cheap man. haha. wasted 3 hours of life there.

then went to little india to meet chinx to grab my race package. of all places. oops a little racist there. really wrecked havoc there after that with daniel, keith, hong yi and andrew. making fun of everyone, going into vegeterian restaurants asking for chicken nuggets! oh oh and speaking mainlander chinese to indian shopkeepers.

bo liao. went home to sleep early. cos of my stupid sway sprained ankle, its so gonna affect the race on sunday. gosh its totally out man.

sigh. unlucky luck. hahaha.

abish

haha

2005-12-01T04:00:00.000+08:00

whahaha! i have absolutely no time at all now of these days and im still wasting time beautifying my blog. gosh. its the end! the end of a month. one more month and its hell. and the next month will sweep away like a week. urrgh! i wan i scream!

been sleeping too much (its good isn't it?) but most of my projects and tasks are not going! thank God i have helpers man. thanks guys. blasting off, i skipped training again today, really tired. probably going down to the old folks home later.

any people want a christmas part 21st December?, come down and help me at the home k. haha. neigh rite.

anyways, so sad to hear pastor B's transfer. urrgh. watch out you Paya Lebar churchies! you're in for a shockingly good time. God bless you pastor, meet up one of these days for coffee ;)

Gonna list my stuff pending here so i dont forget: vnite, pltc, psa courses, mission trip(more than one page of stuff alr), christmas party at nl, marathon training, national patrol camp, cross country camp (i skipped psa hike becos of this!!!!), GLC meeting, recruitment campaign......... ahhhh

goin mad. i need support and encouragement. i place my trust in you :)

"love also means to tolerate the other person's weaknesses" - you think so? i dont.

off to do more work now. anybody please call me for a chat k? :)

market milk

end

2005-11-29T14:49:00.000+08:00

guess wad? run!! haha no. its the end over november in a day. i havent touched a single note. really tired. training and more different types of training. my support? it only comes from my bed. have been coming home so late and just ploping and the next day im out before the sun rises.

anyways. going out alone is quite boring. when i look around theres always someone with someone. and thats kinda depressing. even lao ah ma also have lao ah pei. sighs. also been spending lotsa money recently. spending also includes lending. lao, can those who owe me like 100 bucks please pay up!

thru sms:

me: hey please return me the money (owed from 8 months ago) the next time i see you. thanks.
SA: oh, then you'll never see me :)

SA = smart ass.

urrgh. my life's just plain boring for the whole of november. but i dont care. i've been thru the other side, and im thankful for that. december's gonna be better!

gaby: haha sorry didn see the tag yest. ill go get the quotations first la. meet up when you return. have a fun n safe trip!*smiles

ky: fiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeee. haha thhaaaaaaaaannkkks.

fyedee: wei so dao ah. haha, world of sports 50% dem good la. but all dont have my size. mr ho was there too! saw his parents. haha u go there apa..

ntuc link points -_- (huh)

lunch

2005-11-26T03:14:00.000+08:00

having my fishy lunch now. im so tired. spent awhole day at the old folks home. kinda getting more boring. but no choice. sigh, the elderly are so childish. read that oxymoron. tts rite. went for mission training after that.

about my dream on wednesday (spiritual attack): relate all these in sequence and order and try to get the picture: club, tickets, photocopying of tickets, friends, new age satanic bouncers, questions, screaming, running away, building, friends, speaking in toungues against them, tickets thrown on the floor, everyone runs away. ...weird isn't it?... this has to be the weirdest in my LIFE! the haunting images just daunt me. spoke for less than 5 minutes all together yesterday until i reached into church.

thanks caleb and yz for praying against it. we need more of these in our team. is this a vision? is this superficially untrue? is this from God? or from the evil one?

God is real. and i believe that. seek him to find the truth. spent almost the nite in holland v till about 2am. then walked home. ahaha, sorry i skipped training today. going to barker and then later to sign upo for NYAA (gold) yea! more things coming!

guess what, i havent started working :) i hope none of u have.

mei nugget

bleah

2005-11-24T13:07:00.000+08:00

the joyous season is approaching. yay -_- .feel like a failure. i cant seem to get anything rite in life. i just think sometimes that theres no point at all. wishes become dreams, dreams become more dreams and in the end, they are either illusions or they just come and go.

saw 3 mg gurls in the bus yesterday. *loudly at the back* "hey u know RJ guys are......... but ee yer ............., i wanna go to UK universities. "sigh, i guess ill be stuck at nus" "i think US unis are still the best, i wanna go cambridge." "...bitch bitch bitch..." then i took out something to listen to with a loud sigh, thinkin, c'mon u gurls are only sec 2? and btw, cambridge is in the UK.. twirks

been occupying myself again with so much crap. just obtained my masters in first aid with first class honours yesterday. bo liao. i dono wad im doing with my life. suddenly the aims just go and diminish one by one. i need that someone. only you can make me smile again, only with you that im happy.

i just dont know why i cant make things rite, at least for that matter or so. snort. i only can cry like a useless bum. oh wells. cant contain it really sometimes. everyones going one by one. word of the month = sigh

gaby: eh b needa go get stocks for form b. let me know when u're free

fillet o fish

sad

2005-11-20T14:26:00.000+08:00

what a day. feeling like a loser. snap out of it man.

really distracting myself with so much work. im so tired. why cant i jus live hapilly ever after? boring days daunt my life. and lonely nights just tear me dry.

been observing people lately (keeping my mouth shut). on the bus yesterday, some basketballer ah beng was going, "aiya dono wad * la, he always play * wan la. that * always find some * then he do dono wad * la. tomolo got the * anot?" "wad *" "aiya! dono wad * la!"

just. shut up. please? then the old man behind me was dreaming bout food i think. kept leaning forward to burp and asking the window, "ho-jia bo?"

training 15km in the afternoon. so little people for training. think the sun didn rise today. my dad ask the whole family take bus to holland V swensons to eat ice-cream. then i brought them on a tour of our hang-outs. so weird. telling your parents where u go exactly.

btw, my dad took the express 502 instead of 52 to go home from the mrt station. then he ask the driver to let him down illegally. gosh, if u really know my dad, u'll laugh your ass off. "tititititi = deduct 5 times, instead of error" -_-

i still cant bring myself to smile naturally, i feel i've lost everything.

thought of the day: THE Singapore teenager can send messages via SMS with lightning speed, solve a maths problem faster than those in most other countries - but is helpless without his maid.

good?night.

lazy

2005-11-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

yet another day. im seeing days past like mrt trains leaving the station. once gone, its gone forever. and im not doing anything about it. my mind goes "WAKE UP YOUR STUPID IDEA!" but really nothing is done. these nites i cant sleep, things on the mind and my body. it aches like crazy no matter how much i stretch. im so tired but uncomfortably, so cramped up.

woke and slept in the morning. went out in the afternoon to walk around. harbour front, riverside walk. took some great pictures. (trying to upload it). so bored actually but at least its not sad. not exactly happy too - i miss u so much.

yuppers, went home for dinner then rushed down for missions training. just got home. hopefully i can wake up tmr. september has already ended. i feel tired once again. indeed, for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.

still mindless and brokened. but still strong and hopeful.

sighs

2005-11-17T19:20:00.000+08:00

gosh its already the 17th of November. how time flies. i havent touched my books since promos. gotta complete some fact sheets. oh well. busy these days? no, more distractions. im so tired and injured, inside and outside. but im strong! thanks gaby. gotta go get stuff soon eh. thought u call me to go out. ahaha jk, oh ya theres another form to fill in btw, bout the prices. 65 more days?

um, i really have nothing much to say la, cos my life's getting more and more boring. i gotta brush up my canto, who can help? ah! lai shan. hk gurl, almost got me killed the last time. anyways, gonna take a break in the morning today, just chill la.

im a mindless clone, a mobile non-living thing.

yet another boring day

2005-11-15T15:54:00.000+08:00

i thought i wasn't gonna post anything today but i cant sleep! well, i went cip in the morning and then off the the red cross trng centre to sign up for refresher course. *oh ya btw, any of u interested in doing cip please contact me, esp my class.. theres hell lotsa opportunities*

ok back to life, rushed down for training after my 2 minute lunch (dont try it, its really bad) but trng wasn't too bad, only a long run of about 10km. yup had frisbee after that. think our guys are really competitive, just explaining the rules can get everyone so hostile. yea man! tts the fighting spirit, but relax yea sometimes haha.

then while doing the rounds i saw this unimaginable girl. think her name's tracy. gosh i think she can lift me up with one hand - she catches the 5kg medicine balls like balloons. my eyes poped O_O .aiyo scary man, claps for the strong small girl. i think u'll represent singapore one day :)

hmm and then i went for dinner with my gsl, principal and another teacher at tanglin club. so ngiao one even handphone also cannot on. haha anyways im on the stress route towards the psa! yea!

ever hopeful, ever sincere. trying harder to smile

even more tired

2005-11-14T13:16:00.000+08:00

well well well. everyone's going "sam are u ok?" truth is im not. but thats life la. u make mistakes and regret. hmmm creating jokes now. talking to gen. what else. my life is getting more and more boring.

its the start of a new week. but nothing seems new to me. GreenDay's Boulevard of Broken Dreams just play in my head everytime i walk down empty streets. sigh. i am still so tired. not gonna recover in time for tmr's hell training. help anyone?

demoralised, broken, sad, unmotivated, putting on fake smiles and the list goes on. i really hope to put an end to all these.

still hopeful. just one more chance - the way u want it. please?

tired

2005-11-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

no words can express how tired i am now. morining training 5x5x400m. gosh, and colin was like going at 1:20 pace. bleah. really stressing, especially when ur left leg is compensating for ur right leg injury. ouch. went lunch after that at dover. kept crapping bout colin being so manly like, *to the coffee sao* "oi aunty! ice coffee one!" and leon being a kitty mumu. dont know wads that tho.

had a friendly soccer game against aldersgate methodist church. heh those young chaps were power man. i was like cramping up the whole time, but the tackle youths managed to pull of 6 - 4. well done! the worse part was, the refree didn know exactly wad was an offside -_-

anyways, i jus came home from walking alone around the waterfront esplanade. really cool there at nite. just chilled there for awhile. lucky it was dark, no one could see my teary face. im gonna prepare lesson for tmr liao, methodist doctrines and stuff .

amen

im free

2005-11-12T14:32:00.000+08:00

im so busy. and sadness makes me busier somehow. i try ta distract myself by doing so many things but i just cant forget it. ever since that day, my heart has been regreting and begging for another chance. well, guess dreams and wishes dont really come true, even bdae ones. i dono how to react when i see u. i dont wanna make u feel angry or anything. i dono wad to do. i wanna talk and rekindle things but i just dont know how to and i know it ain't gonna work. really hurts, smiling on the outside.

hmm today had oral presentation. went quite well, well done ppl! they asked me a stupid question. "in what way Australia(our case study) is INAPPLICABLE to the singapore context?" im like, if INAPPLICABLE then i choose it for wad? haha sorry man, just crapped up something on the spot. and folks, just when u thought pw was over, u still have your stupid file to finish up.

started on cip yesterday, really saddening to see so many elderly in such a start. truly "body at prosperity dono prosperity" and lots of them are non-christian :( skipped training for a long time, better get back. its just so hard to move along life without anyone beside you, like i've told many of u guys, i need that someone special but i guess i kicked it away. its all too late.

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

- Boulevard of Broken Dreams, GreenDay

thats me. brokened.

busy

2005-11-10T07:34:00.000+08:00

whoots. finally managed to retreat from the hectic shedules to type an entry. yesterday was plain training, helping the guys clear their tests for Frank Cooper Sands points again -_- Really hate that as it really brings down the standard. oh well, the camping grounds is actually quite ok la. better than sarimbun haha. aloha changi, netheravon road. its like a bungalow type of thing. played ps2 in the night and then PW again :( urrgh.

went to the beach with my shadow later, was really cool and windy. lying down on the sand, memories of times and dreams just flow into my head. really painful and the tears just come out involuntarily. I really wished i had those back. haha, but its too late. loser.

had PW mock today. thanks ms kuah for your dedication to come down. not too bad i guess, i spoke for 10 mins sigh. gotta cut lotsa parts for my speech. its just so dumb. you work your ass off the whole year and 40% of this stupid grade is determined in 5 minutes. how dumb. met aud and leon to go macritchie for meeting. then got a lift from mr ang. the whole trip was just him and his nonsense and his driving is so reckless. haha sorry sir. i think aud got headache after that.

left after meeting. not training today. going back to changi soon. please pray for my oral presentation that it goes really well :)

praise him

2005-11-07T14:10:00.000+08:00

sunday's always the best day of the week. its like the start of a new beginning week. gonna be packed to the max tho with camps, pw, and other stuff. going all these trials n obstacles alone is sure gonna be tough. i dont really care about stuff now, dont wanna even think. i agree with gen, thinking is bad, makes u feel worse.

just a comment bout what i experienced today. i think im kinda sensitive to stuff like rituals and burnings and stuff like that, a very wide scope. the moment i see it or even smell the burnt offering, oppression comes heavilly down on me like today. felt really bad. but once i re-entered the church, turning away from tanglin halt, i felt God's peace once again.

hey guys, the groups of people there need prayer! im serious! they are so going to hell if nobody even tries to help them. whoops, better watch what i type if not i go to jail.

haha dennis u lamer. bleah ill just spend 5 minutes on this. urrgh.. here it goes:

Rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours.

1. I can be noisy and quiet at the same time. Its when you're noisy you are heard, and its when you're quiet, you listen. And when i listen, i hear many interesting stuff. so watch waht you say hahaha. but i also know when to shut up (at least most of the time).

2. I like to do things as and when i like, unless there are deadlines to meet. i can sleep anytime and eat anytime.

3. I cannot get upset easily, unless the issue really hurt me to the core. i think the last two weeks are perfect examples of heartbreaking. other than that, i tend to cheer ppl up, even when im sad. but when im really sad, i dont talk.

4. I am not cool. tts for sure and i dont aspire to be. clubbing, smoking, drinking...... whatever the world thinks is cool. so what. im hot. haha but im not tut.

5. I want to be the first president of Singapore who does an aircraft display on National Day for my country to see. hopefully i dont crash hahaha.

OK! im done, im not gonna force 5 other ppl to do this.

praying for a better tmr.

gosh

2005-11-06T14:06:00.000+08:00

wad a day. wad a sad day, or rather the start of the sad season has come, but i dont know when it'll end. day didn start out too fine alr with my yester 'happy' bdae. training was ok slightly more than 10km but the shit really started after the whole training. i just dont like to talk behind ppl, i never do i can promise that. and when ppl assume and accuse, the one trying to help becomes at fault and the bastard ultimately.

oh yea, im just a secretary ya. maybe i should know my place and keep my bloody mouth shut and do my own stuff. u guys think i wanna care? as if i dont have bloody enough problems on my own! my bdae wishes:

restore relationship with special someone - destroyed
strengthen friendships among close ones - destroyed

i think in order to make the last one come thru, ill just be myself. sam. just sam, im not gonna give a shit about anything anymore. why cant ppl understand how i feel?, why cant ppl forgive and forget?, why cant ppl give second chances?, why cant ppl understand my intentions.

i really feel so alone. but thanks to those i know who are always there. i have no one for comfort when i tear in buses over the past week, i have no one for encouragement after being whacked by my parents, i have no one for support after going thru these circumstances. know why?, i killed everthing, i made everything gone and disappear.

i might as well not have existed!

'happy' bdae

2005-11-05T13:45:00.000+08:00

aren't birthdays supposed to be happy? well, tts what everyone wishes u but really, no one really does anything about it. i guess this is the worst birthday of my life.

training in the morning. 10x 6mins, a total of more than 13km at a very fast pace. felt really drained. thanks guys for the cake, really appreciate what u fellas did. then pw. again. i dono wad to do la. jus 4get it. met someone after that on my way to barker in the afternoon, gave me the 'best' present of all time. after that the tears just roll down and my heart was just brokened simultaneously. i think this is the first time i cried on a 4th November.

In barker during the meeting i was going like "wa so dusty, my eyes very itchy". then at dinner with my parents i went "im so touched". but the tears just keep rolling and i cant contain it. its so painful. thanks chinz for chatting, hope u dont feel sadder after talking to me heh.

every hour i receive a HAPPY bdae message, how am i to be happy? mend my broken and fake smile. maybe i shouldn't even have been borned. but yes, "it is impossible to go back in time".
anyway thanks to everyone who cared n bothered, really appreciate u guys. but yea, today's just another day, probably the one of the worst in my history. guess sometimes second chances dont come about, and once u've lost it, its gone 4ever, no matter how hard u try.

happy birthday audrey :) guess u're happy enough haha.

one more day

2005-11-04T11:33:00.000+08:00

pwsuckspwsuckspwsucks. working on my op speech and ppt now. its really so sad. anyways shant think of tt. think im going mad. stoned in the morning, all morning. after lunch, i went to sit cable-car from mount faber to sentosa then to habour front. walked around there but so boring. went to ikea instead. also kinda boring so i went home. doing pw once again.

well, busy shedules coming up, especially for my presidents' scout award. im so determined to get it! community service, projects, tests, skills everything piles up yea! on the side line i still have pw, cross season training, mission trip and a whole plethora of activities. haha im not sure whether fun anot but its sure gonna wear me out with no one beside me.

Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
Cause I feel so defeated
And im feeling alone
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
im a plane in the sunset
With no where to land
And all I see It could never make me happy
And all my sandcastles Spend their time collapsing
Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough
It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this (friday sixteen years ago)
And I feel stuck watching history repeating
Oh am I just a kid who knows he's needy?
Let me know that you hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
Let that be enough

- switchfoot

sighs, guess nobody remembers..

usual

2005-11-03T12:35:00.000+08:00

pw is such a frustration. wonder why they only take it out like next year. give u an analogy, just when u're hanging on to a branch stuck out from a mountain u fell from, pw is something that pulls ur legs downwards. i just dont get it, it doesn even benefit us in any way. im really sorry man ac 153ers but im really caught up when u guys are available. haha i just hope everything turns out well. we can do it!

training was rather boring today. water running and polo again. went for lunch at subway with the team, hate bread. anyways, was supposed to go wander around town just now but was just too tired and all. my full swinged 'holiday' is about to begin. what a nightmare, goodnite.

happy bdae charmaine!

days get boring

2005-11-02T15:52:00.000+08:00

sighs, these days have been so boring and lengthy. wished new happier n nicer days would formulate n actualise. yesterday i had chinese a's in the morning. that gruelling approximated 4 hours was sure torturous. and guess what! the last chinese compo that i will ever write in my life (hopefully) is now the longest. i think i wrote out of point man, like a book, definitely more than a thousand words for sure. my paper 2 is confirmed in the coffin already haha. but anyway its over, back to english environments.

had training in the afternoon :( so hot and humid, urrgh the weather seems real harsh when the season is starting. 6km long run down portsdown road and then 3x 6 mins runs, and when we thought it was done, drills! and then mr ang had to leave early so no games -_- anyways, i know his bank pin number and all cos he asked me to delete all these info from his palm that was goin ta be sold. hahahaha. was eunice's bdae also, only one small cake take like an hour to buy. hmmm.

went home quite quickly cos something bad happened. like everythings bad for me but this one's real bad. thats why i had to skip tash's halloween party. so sorry yea. hope u guys had fun clubbing. haha not my kinda place. i knocked off soon after. thats why i didn update yesterday.

seemed like i slept for so long last nite when i woke at 6am -_- yea. played xbox with bro in the morning for awhile. sigh kinda boring when dad is arnd during public holidays. and, hes taking leave till fri! sigh :( went for group council meeting at barker from 3pm to 7pm. gosh kinda boring but no choice la. im going full swing on my psa liao, no time to waste. anyone wanna join me to do cip? haha oh well.

went to some place in thomson to eat chinese chicken rice (the chicken was yellow), not bad. then went back to barker. decided to call chin yen to talk cok again, didn wanna go home so early. haha i didn realise staying at the hostel was so bad. anyways, dont worry gurl, someone told me before, "time heals everything". hmmm its only a matter of how long.

im really bored n lonely these days. really draining i dont know why either. rather paradoxical. sigh i guess thats life. i need motivation desperately haha, thank God for the Bible :) im gonna sleep now, got training tmr. goodnite world :)

happy bdae eunice n shu zhen! :)

still trying to smile

2005-10-31T14:24:00.000+08:00

today is one of the better days since the 17th. "you'll never appreciate and treasure someone as much as u would until that someone is gone" had format X today. very Xceptional 3 part service, claps to the worship team. glory to God. i hope the visitors found it good as well, praise God for 3 new believers :) anyway, thanks aud for coming ta see, think the bk time was best. gonna invite more ppl to format X the next time round! after that had missions training, urrgh quite a bore but essential la i guess.

couldn't wait for dessert again at glutton square. my dad's on 24hr duty so can go back late and use the com now! hahaha. keep calling back to ask me to study for chinese. gosh, my s paper 5566 class is so... think mrs chee can pluck off all her hair becos of us . nothing seems to get into our minds. especially new words. all we know is 4 word = 成语 and when lao shi asks for 管用语 we all go huh? "3 words 3 words!" kelvin goes 王八蛋.... sigh i hope i can at least get a C6 tmr. hopefully ill write my last chinese compo tmr yay!

oh wells rest early world, all the best to everyone taking the stupid paper. "may God inspire you to see the beauty and essence of the chinese language" hahaha.

hope tmr will be good and it will be :) nite

hot!

2005-10-30T14:57:00.000+08:00

yet another sad n boring day. i think jc life is starting to show its true colours. laid in bed in the morning hoping to talk to someone, but nobody answered. had training in the afternoon, went bout 12km from macritchie planks to SICC then back by thomson road. it was HOT as HELL. gosh the amount of radiated heat might just give u cancer. after that went adam's for talk cok session and dessert. thanks guys for cheering me up a little.

parents had bible study at night, didn have chance to talk or use the com. bro n sis at party, me alone in the room. like a jail - even in jail u have ppl to chat with sigh. anyways, i decided to stop reading chinese and play with aunt jen's 7 yr old, joash. had quite a fun time actually, doing so childish stuff, really quite a good experience.

just when i thought the day was bad enough, my dad scolded me for reading ppl's blogs. yup. huh? i was at laishan's blog when he boomed: u better not read other ppl's critiques and get into trouble cos they cant search for the internet fingerprints if the website is illegal or used for illegal activities!" too tired to argue, i turned off the computer n went to sleep.

frustrations

2005-10-29T14:11:00.000+08:00

ahhh! its been 5 hours trying to fix HTML codes and stuff. still got so many errors, and i cant get what i want. i change something then things are gone or there's more errors. sigh, can anyone help?

haha anyways. what an interesting way to spend the last day of the school year - lessons. gosh, they should have organised like AC games part 2 or watch a movie. sorry ms kuah, ms sng, mr ho and mr chua, but the moods' just not there. i didnt really pay attention.

went holland v after to school to wonder about alone. brought back much memories. i cant help but cry every nite in my room. think im experiencing double damage: friends and family. oh well, i hope i can pull through this ordeal. super tired now. especially my eyes.

smile :) tmr will be worse.. nite everyone

finally

2005-10-27T16:10:00.000+08:00

yay! finally created a blog after such a long time, now that i've got much more free time. hi guys! beware of more good stuff like class photos ;)