faith.hope.love

Thursday, December 29, 2005

how time flies. its already the 28th. gosh. no work done at all. how was christmas and boxing. I only have one present but many cards haha. anyways. i really wanna get out of this kinda lifestyle. seriously, its not wort moving so quickly and screwing up your life with the things around you.

just renewed my golf pc yesterday, tester real ngiao man basket. but went to play 36 holes today. not bad, got 93 on average.. yea but, play so much also sian. im so bored with my life.

tomorrows gonna be worse. its a full day tmr, then the day after tmr IT NEVER ENDS! i hate that. i kinda dread living. i number my days and lose count. how i wish i can just die now.

urrgh! mood swings are incoming :)

sam made noise at
2:53 PM

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Monday, December 26, 2005

christmas, isn't christmas, till it happens in your heart. i guess i wont feel this way for the next couple of years. really down inside the last two days. really felt empty during service today. sorry God :(

"it doesn't hurt kicking the ball to see if it enters the goal anot. but sometimes, we dont even have the chance to kick it" been thinking bout this for the past 40 hours. really sad. my life is so regretful. i think tts the reason im at home now.

well, oh well. at a loss of words. met gerry this morning, kinda cheering up and happy to see someone close that has returned. cooping myself at home now. i just watched the whole "da chang jing" show twice. its a dem nice korean movie.

oh well, MERRY christmas everyone. and hopefully a HAPPY new year.

sam made noise at
11:30 AM

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Saturday, December 24, 2005

it is finished. all over. my hopes and dreams are all dashed. but i have to move on with life yea? from the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything. i've tried my very best. that card took a week to complete. but hey, for your happinness, i'd do anything.

one year ago on this very date and time i made a big decision. i thought i was happy until i screwed things up. why do i always screw things up? WHY?! WHY?! is it God's will, or is it just me, a useless person. ill say it again but living in regret just sucks. i hope i dont have to regret anymore in my life. I never thought i would be in such a situation again.

need a few days to recover. i just feel like ending my life. but i've still got things undone on earth. i hate it when God doesn't seem to be there at all. "You give and take away" - I rather you not give then to take away. its seriously just so painful. im torn totally inside, but i've only myself to blame. im left all alone in the world now - thats how i seriously feel right now, emptier than ever.

yep. im just brokened for words. truly i wanna leave this country or even this earth. i wanna stop putting on fake expressions and "enjoy myself" here.

TO HELL WITH CLUBBING - stop destroying people's lives.

shit happens

sam made noise at
3:27 PM

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

christmas is coming. but it doesnt feel right.

just organised a party for the oldfolks. thanks enoch, caleb and yi zhong in helping me with the christmas carols. and real disappointed with those who backed out last minute. really screwed plans up. anyways, it was kinda fun, especially with my funky magic show.

from chicken little: everyday is a new day.

paste back that smile on my face.

sam made noise at
6:31 PM

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

today (or yesterday rather) was the first module of pltc. quite disappointing to see so little people. anyways, vnite meeting in the afternoon also was quite full of crap. people having tensionous convos and internal squabbles. c'mon guys, we have a job to do.

went out later with marcus, hong yi and thow. not bad to kuai lan in town, like the last time in little india. u guys are just full of crap la. haha.

also went to send something to someone. i really hope you receive it. maybe in two days time my smile would be back on my face. maybe not. please, im torn enough. i cant sleep or eat well.

sighs, one of the most screwed up thing in life is to REGRET. Living in regret just sucks.

sam made noise at
5:42 PM

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Monday, December 19, 2005

life's a bore without you. seriously.

sam made noise at
6:48 PM

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

i finally know what it means to be lonely. i finally feel the emptiness inside of me. i finally understand why God needs to come fill you.

i really feel no better than a crushed piece of paper, crushed up and thrown aside. mom and dad's not in town, bro and sis also not around. friends either mugging or clubbing. "so on my own, i feel so all alone". no wonder i wanted to stay so much in thailand, where everyone is so innocent, pure and warm. unlike singapore kids who squander hard earned money away.

cross camp was great. had a great time with the team and also the trackers. but kinda hostile during the war games but oh well, inevitable. back to life - 2 more weeks to start of school. shit.

pics

Drinking goggles up! toot

Get the rythm of the dragon. 1 and 2 and 3 and!

anyways.

i am so ever needing of your touch once again. its really killing me day by day.

sam made noise at
10:34 AM

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

wow! im back in action. im gonna migrate to thailand soon. the life there is just great. relaxed and carefree, where stress and frustrations are of the minimal because everything there is just so little to hold on to. and the people? i think they beat us FLAT in terms of service and hospitality. they give their ALL, and dont expect anything in return.

well this mission trip has been truly a great experience. when God's in the house. u'll know he's there. i've also met great new friends there. it was so painful to leave just like that, after its so painful when someone that you treasure so much leaves you. they were the ones who really showed me the meaning of true love. i've learnt alot from that, just by their actions. its like this longing in your heart to be belonged to someone, filled.

guys: boy, kong, tong, m, peng, tom, john, rod, jo, bo, and many more.
gurls: tay, mon, fon, kare, bean, ning, nist, ouy, sunny, mai, and many others.

you guys really brought to my world something different. i salute you.

thanks for being close friends with me. i will be back soon.

oks, gotta go prepare for cross camp liao.

go go go ale ale ale! khop-kun khrup

sam made noise at
5:34 PM

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Monday, December 05, 2005

bam! simply so tired and in pain. the marathons'not a joke man, especially with a sprained ankle. but had fun la. now im crippled at home.

yay. yea. but no one to share my achievement with. God?

i dont know what to say anymore. life without you has been bad (i mean really bad). you probably wont even see this. but that feelings been daunting my soul all this while. suddenly i just thought. how am i to be the sam i used to be. i cant.

everyones on a holiday.no one i can go out with. no one i can talk to anymore. i dont even have one. gonna leave soon for thailand tho. wanna make best the time i have now but it all seems too late. heros fail, but i guess failures fail as well.

im ever needing your touch so much.

paste back pieces of me

sam made noise at
3:57 PM

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Sunday, December 04, 2005

yay finally rectified the blog problem that jon mentioned. hehe i copied a wrong script man. now you people can read the post for the last 3 days haha.

today's kinda boring. i hope it'll be more fun later. met pastor b in the morning to talk bout stuff then spent about one hour at guardian finding out quotations for the first aid components. so dem expensive la! then played frisbee in the level 3 carpark. kinda illegal but pastor kao didn say anything when he came out.

anyway. today's boring. yeah.

ah yes. if you could please pray for my mission trip

CLICK HERE

just download the prayer letter. thanks a zillion.

if you dont know how to pray, just say dear God, then read everything there with sincerity. Amen. it helps!

just had a steamboat dinner. off to school now, preparing for the long race tmr earky morning! 21.1 km! here we go!

zoom

sam made noise at
10:50 AM

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Saturday, December 03, 2005

fridays are so depressing. they mark the end of the hectic week and it means time is flying real fast. gosh. its been more than a month (maybe 2) since after promos. i dont care.

went to nuss guildhouse in the morning to confirm vnite stuff. so professional man. after that went to hang around in town till bout eight. eye opener when you go shopping with rich people haha. one pair of jeans can cost $300 over. O_O .like wow. that can last me for a month! whee gotta start saving up to shop with them.

gas jeans, energie, x-square, quiksilver, guess, ax, diesel, miss sixty, topshop, topman, forever 21, zara bla bla bla. these are the places you least likely will find me.

hungry? pasta mania, picnic's beef noodles, delifrance's potato gratin, starbucks ice chocolate, yami youghurt STOP!!! i have a marathon on sunday.

or maybe ill go marry the sultan of johore's daughter since no one wants me. i will have control over johor! hahaha! oh man im going craz y.

and oh ya, did i tell you about my broken ankle. went to see a doctor and guess what.

oh well, that's besides the point.

havent started ANY work!

yawn with a small mouth

sam made noise at
3:56 PM

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Friday, December 02, 2005

the start of december is just great. started off so early by transporting so much equipment to sarimbun for npc. whee got a chance to ride on a 26 ft lorry. no joke man.

then afternoon had nothing better to do. so i played LAN. been a long time man. but me n daniel totally kicked ass in c&c gens. GLA and US really make a good fighting force. then after that played battlefield vietnam. thru that game u'll soon realise life is cheap man. haha. wasted 3 hours of life there.

then went to little india to meet chinx to grab my race package. of all places. oops a little racist there. really wrecked havoc there after that with daniel, keith, hong yi and andrew. making fun of everyone, going into vegeterian restaurants asking for chicken nuggets! oh oh and speaking mainlander chinese to indian shopkeepers.

bo liao. went home to sleep early. cos of my stupid sway sprained ankle, its so gonna affect the race on sunday. gosh its totally out man.

sigh. unlucky luck. hahaha.

abish

sam made noise at
2:22 PM

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

whahaha! i have absolutely no time at all now of these days and im still wasting time beautifying my blog. gosh. its the end! the end of a month. one more month and its hell. and the next month will sweep away like a week. urrgh! i wan i scream!

been sleeping too much (its good isn't it?) but most of my projects and tasks are not going! thank God i have helpers man. thanks guys. blasting off, i skipped training again today, really tired. probably going down to the old folks home later.

any people want a christmas part 21st December?, come down and help me at the home k. haha. neigh rite.

anyways, so sad to hear pastor B's transfer. urrgh. watch out you Paya Lebar churchies! you're in for a shockingly good time. God bless you pastor, meet up one of these days for coffee ;)

Gonna list my stuff pending here so i dont forget: vnite, pltc, psa courses, mission trip(more than one page of stuff alr), christmas party at nl, marathon training, national patrol camp, cross country camp (i skipped psa hike becos of this!!!!), GLC meeting, recruitment campaign......... ahhhh

goin mad. i need support and encouragement. i place my trust in you :)

"love also means to tolerate the other person's weaknesses" - you think so? i dont.

off to do more work now. anybody please call me for a chat k? :)

market milk

sam made noise at
4:00 AM

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